(back to Bode
     Hall home)

Secret Songs of the Passive-Aggressive:

Part 7 - "In Transit"

Do you know I commute?
Every day
I hop on 
And take a ride
Across the river to cruelty
From where I live.

Most days I even go back home.

I get on the train today
And I swear I see you
Over by the door
Hunched down sitting on the vinyl floor
Knees on chin
Waiting for someone to trip over your
Barely outstretched foot coming in
So you can

You are reading to pass the time.

I fell in love with you again
The last time I saw you
Sitting on her lap
Teetering together on a rickety chair
Putting out the panic fire with your own 
Blood summoning needed vulnerability from a
Of strategy.

You are leaving.  You are arriving.

I step into a cab tomorrow
And you are at the door
Ducking in beside me
Complaining about the cold vinyl seats
You babble at me intimate details of your
Enormous hidden weaknesses and yet 
Of course
I love you.

Hey, wait just a goddamn minute.

Sometimes I look into your eyes
And boom, I'm back 
Just around the corner
Leaning up against the dirty brick wall
Out of breath
Trying over the sound of my wheezing
Desperately to hear the encroaching running
Of my past.

I am praying that they go by again.

How dare you look at me like that
Like nothing's wrong
Like everything's wrong
Like you're wrong
Like I'm wrong
Like we were wrong.


-skyler, Feb. 20, 2002